The Pit and the Pendulum

Stuart Gordon's The Pit and the Pendulum (1991) is one-half-Mel Brooks, one-half-grindhouse horror, and all terrible. This bizarre, tonally chaotic tale about two lovers who are held captive by the Inquisition's Torquemada (Lance Henriksen) has zero suspense; scenery that looks about as realistic as a Renaissance Day festival held in a strip mall parking lot; static cinematography/warm sepia lighting more befitting of a daytime talk show than a horror flick; the nice old granny from Happy Gilmore playing a nice old granny in the film's mawkish attempt at hope; and acting just sub-par enough to render the characters unsympathetic yet too earnest to attain camp. And then there's explicit torture scenes that aspire to raunchy sleaziness but just end up humiliating the actors, especially Rona De Ricci, who is subjected to strip-search and full-frontal nudity while sobbing in a particularly tasteless yet ho-hum scene. Henriksen and Gordon take the role of the Grand Inquisitor a little too seriously, aping off of the Claude Frollo character from Hunchback of Notre Dame's mix of repressed Catholic sexuality-turned-homicidal delusion. Compared to other Henriksen baddies, Torquemada is a bit of a simpering, emo bore. The torture contraptions are a failure of design, giving way to action tussles that play out like an episode of American Gladiator: the utter opposite of what the sadomasochistic, Poe-inspired source material demands.